Thursday, April 1, 2010

First Anal Adventure

The first time I poked an asshole, I was 17 years old. No, by asshole I don’t mean Ibrahim Ali (of malay supremacist organization PERKOSA) nor do I mean our asshole of a gahmen. I wouldn’t poke a single finger on that racist, hatred-stirring Shitbrahim although I wish Anwar will do him a favor and just ram his butthole. Our gahmen instead have their dicks too deep into all our assholes that it’s quite impossible for us to reach around to poke them back. Unless you’re flexible like this:

as u can see from diagram... gahmen people are very hairy. Because they're very lazy. Yes, hairy = lazy.

But nabeh you Asians where got so tua ki? That’s why I’m proud of my Godzilla. But my Godzilla also cannot go so long like that. So Malaysians all have very loose assholes and no problem with constipation since we get fucked by gahmen so often. But they’re smart enough to ban sodomy. So basically they can fuck our asshole but we cannot fuck theirs.

But I cannot help thinking, how come what we put in our asshole also must ask their permission? If people wanna put dick inside, then mah let them lor. If people wanna put banana also, boh pian lor… they song mah… why you must tell them they cannot? What about vagina then? If they put dildo, unnatural also mah… kena lokap also? Then tampon how? Or must rate whether the girl syok boh syok wan? If syok then masuk jail, if no syok then its fine. Then you girls better tahan and don’t be aroused.

Then should they come out with a list with what can be inserted into your backside/vagina? Waraaoeh, Approved Vaginal/Anal Insertion Object List: 1) Tampon 2) Diaper Plug 3) Contraceptive IUD 4) Cucumber ,etc… puah bai!! Gahmen really khamlan wan.

Back to topic, at 17, I committed a crime in Malaysia. I had anal sex. It was my first girlfriend, May, and she was two years older than me so she’s more heong. I remember I was fucking her that time, doggy style, and then I noticed when she ‘came’ that time her asshole pucker up, like tighten, open, tighten, open liddat and she was sighing and moaning like sibeh song. (of course song la kanineh my Godzilla not play play wan). That time I remember thinking, ‘wahh.. if my godzilla inside that tiny asshole that time and she pucker up close and open liddat… mah sibeh song!?’. So I continue doing her until I knew she was about to come again, then I started fingering her asshole la. Wahlaueh I remember it was damn kau tight and had to use a shit load of saliva to squeeze my finger in.

Then it was the most kaulat feeling. I feel as though my finger is stuck in the vacuum cleaner pipe liddat… siiibeehhh suction kaukau and then somemore got pulsating feeling. That time I know, beh hoh seh liao lah…. If I put Godzilla inside I will be in heaven. Of course that time I try not to think of the leftover chocolate cake stuck inside. Or the possibility of Godzilla kena fart. If not Godzilla will run and hide under turtleneck liao.

But that time she beh song d, complained very pain. Kanineh index finger only so small she already say pain, if I let Godzilla go in play then she mah lausai for one year? So I just I just insert abit and finger halfway while we fuck lor. I thought let her learn to enjoy abit abit first. Next time only go all the way. Its like driving liddat mah, must first gear second gear then later on only can go last gear. If not engine straight away die. But that was my first time fascination with fuck backside. Although not yet get to fuck backside. But I will update again next time what happened after that. Last time 17 years old abit paiseh to buy lubricant in 7-11 mah… you know lah usually the Minah Tudung will look at you one kind. Later they bisik bisik pointing pointing in the shop…. I very paiseh leh 17 years old only leh. So without KY Jelly and needing extra extra lubricant, what did you think I used?

Correct guess I will send you a packet of KY Jelly.

Continue later, boss kaupeh already.

p/s: will i get thrown in jail by the gahmen from writing this?


  1. Saliva? Hair Gel? Johnson Johnson baby lotion?

  2. sendiri said saliva already what..

    And go fix your font before you post la...apa lap sap blog ni...last time laugh at ppl do sendiri wanna blog...cis

  3. puah bai u superkuku... limpek dinasour where got know how to use all this blog blog stuff. I try change few times also cannot... fuck it liao la.

    nabeh, nowadays i tok tok everybody fuck limpek not free... mah have to come online kaupeh la. You cibais sommore dare to complain... ur own fault la!

    anonymous, u siao ah, hair gel later my pubic hair stuck to the asshole hair!

  4. It's KukuSuper...Y go delete my comment??

  5. u stupid kuku, i didnt la. U did it yourself. Sibeh dinasour u. Why would i reply to ur comment and then go delete? Nabeh, blardy jungle man.


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