Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Man with Hymen and Filipino Pimple Remedy

Last entry's quiz, Old Beng got it right

Limpek tell you veteran blogger really no play play wan. One look and Old Beng already know whose hair it is. Yes, its xiaxue's hair (btw, need to pay copyright to post blogger pic or use their name wan ar? I donno these things wan leh, please dont sue poor uncle)

very hot can see side boobs

Pic download from google of course, just like all my other images. Limpek dont even own a camera.

Oldbeng is the famous author of the blog, lim peh ka li kong, very famous and entertaining wan. Thank you for participating in the Million Dollar Goldfish Uncle competition. The plesen is a Million Dollar worth of a photoshop edited pic of yourself. Since xiaxue always say photoshop is more important than life itself.

But limpek look and look, nabeh all your pics also you censor out. Boh huat... have to make do. So here is your hemsem oldbeng kena z'ng (modify) like how people z'ng cars. No, not car z'ng.


ezos pipe also tua tua ki already. Like Mugen Honda Kawasaki Ninja

Sibeh sexy liao.

So just now limpek work work very tired, run to take a long break and pangsai in toilet. Its the most common slacking tactic in Malaysia. Limpek company toilet small and smelly wan, have to share with staff. Going to start make chocolate cake liao suddenly remember limpek didnt bring phone in to play play. Shit! Si liao... sien kah na lan liao. Meaning will be bored like penis. Yes, penis usually quite bored wan.

So limpek simply grab old newspapers laying around to read and kill time. Lucky got few newspaper havent read before. Found one article that made me laugh until puah bai suddenly. It was the 22 April 2010 'The Star' newspaper on page T14 Woman section.

What? Uncle cannot read Woman section meh? Got alot of lingerie model pictures cannot ar?

Cant find it online so limpek will be generous and type the article out for you.


Basic biology is a given but you would be amazed at how little young women in parts of Asia understand their bodies. In this day and age, 68% of them still can't tell female fact from fiction. Here are some results of 'The Kotex Bodylife IQ Study':

Young Indian women are the most shy, and more than 3/4 have never examined their own genitals. They were the most misinformed about their bodies with 71% young women not knowing that menses and urine don't flow from the same opening.

There is a strong prevalence of myths and generally low basic health knowledge. Only 2 in 10 womencould tell the difference between fact and myth and 77% could not answer the questions on pregnancy correctly.

Indonesia: The most clued in when it came to health questions and distinguishing truth from fiction, yet Indonesian women scored the lowest when it came to pregnancy and biology. 53% believe that they only have two orifices down there.

The Phillipines: The least body smart in the region. 54% believe that beer increases menstrual flow and 38% believe that applying the blood from your first period to your face prevents pimples. 98% got the biology questions wrong with 26% believing that only men have hymens.


By this time limpek was already laughing till accidentally farted few times liao. Luckily no one inside the toilet. Walaoeh, this article donno real or not wan. Got this kind of nonsense?!?

What if Cheesie was Filipino? Walaoeh her Cheeserland blog entry will be like this!!!

But even so, limpek still love cheesie.

Then somemore what Man got hymen! Where?? In the gugu or the kar ch'ng?? If like that the moment I pangsai, limpek mah lose virginity liao!? OHHH NOOO! Maybe thats why pangsai got blood sometimes?? Cause kah ch'ng hymen torn?

But limpek think the kah ch'ng hymen must be one way street wan. Shit can go out, 'things' cannot go in. Thats why kah ch'ng hymen will be intact. You say cannot? Nabeh, you engineer meh? Who say cannot... limpek design for you.

See, that way kah ch'ng hymen makes total sense. If shit wanna come, the passage directs it to soon-soon flow out. But if you simply insert things from outside, then the system will fail!!! Causing hymen to breakdown!

There you go, kah ch'ng hymen.

So the article goes on with Malaysia and then Singapore. But its not so interesting anymore. Basically hinting how gong cipet some people can be.

Malaysia: Malaysian women scored the lowest on pregnancy and virginity issues - 84% failed to aswer the pregnancy questions correctly. Myths also featured strongly with 87% being undable to tell truth from myth.

The women generally had higher than average scores overall (kanasai..) but displayed poor knowledge on virginity and feminine biology. All of them knew how sexually transmitted diseases were contracted but 42% believe that they can't get pregnant during menses.

Limpek was thinking the Malaysians, 'what lanjiao virginity issues? Got fuck means no virgin, no fuck means virgin la!'. But then again after the stupid American president Bill Clinton, now blowjob or anal sex might not be considered sex anymore... so can consider still virgin. Limpek think ang moh mostly khong kham wan.

But Malaysia is all kong-kong lampah song wan. Blowjobs are not even legal... yet if less than 70% of our gahmen people and politicians dont indulge in it before, limpek will chop off my own nut and eat it. Or let lightning strike one of my nut and fry it. Puah bai hypocrites!!! Now they make the women confused with something as simple as virginity.

Limpek finish pangsai, settle everything, wanted to leave the toilet liao. But leg become cramp already because sit so long. Limpek was about to throw the newspaper aside when suddenly felt like my heart sink. No its not because too much kentucky, cos limpek is still very fit. Then it hit me. The last sentence.

"... but 42% believe that they can't get pregnant during menses"



limpek is another gong cipet afterall


  1. hahahaha, cannot faint this time because I am not having menses. Some said can get pregnant during menses. Less likely but possible! http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_you_get_pregnant_while_you%27re_having_your_period&alreadyAsked=1&rtitle=Can_you_get_pregnate_on_your_period

  2. lol.. i like the way you poke at bloggers and the illustrations included.. =P

  3. Yes. Still can. The is nothing call 100 safe. hahhaha

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. walaoeh i tot people say you brave the blood and gore then will reap the rewards and emerge champion like Spartan wan? Sien la liddat... rubber for life T.T

    ken, yes there are alot of hot bloggers i really wish to poke... without rubber.

  6. knnz... u no have camera but u can have photoshop...

  7. u better dun photoshop my face like this...

  8. Wahahaha, knn kam siah you Goldfish.

    Photoshop lim peh's kkj so "big" and thanks for mentioning me here.

    You come Singapore, lim peh buy you makan.

  9. dbl my fav hot ger, photoshop download free from online!! fren teach wan!! camera use phone wan can liao la... no money buy

    Oldbeng u say wan ha, next time i go find u in singapore and see your sexy sport car

  10. Ok la, you come Spore, we meet for makan but lim peh no have sport car.

    If you really come, let me know earlier and I can also date Hiao aunty together to meet you, gao peng you bo? Swee swee for you.

  11. wahh ons la! i saw some pics of sports car in your blog... thought u posting bout your car. Coz everything in mandarin, limpek boh tak cheh so dont understand the writing


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