Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Papaya Farm, Multitasking and Tissue

So the following nite they are very hamsap already. Early early Tobby message come liao.

"Tmr wan go papayafarm. Red Ruby in Menara MBA. Who ons?"

Of course limpek change the real name abit la. Later Wanita MCA come protest again. Nabeh that bunch of menopause auntie. Just because their husbands see their backside can touch the thigh already, nehneh can fling over shoulder, then dowan to fuck them... then the aunties wan to come and shut down every hamsap entertainment for us decent young men. Siao wan.

Want to control husband is not liddat wan mah auntie... open mouth only POK PEK POK PEK kaauupeehhh kauuubuuuu... walaoeh who still got mood for sex!? Got time go keep fit abit, jogging abit, aerobic abit... then learn belly dancing and pole dancing. Then when u shake shake for your husband looking like sexy hot bitch... then song song rape kau your husband, boh song dont let them touch... see they want you more boh? Sure work wan. If you want more tips, e-mail goldfish uncle.

Oh back to story, so of course limpek say ons la. Limpek like very free and lonely, always nothing to do. Life is very weird wan, limpek so hemsem and cool, why life still so lonely? Nevermind... like the angmoh always say.. "ITSS COOOLLL YAWWW". Somemore limpek want to go because limpek like to hang out with friends. Also because limpek is quite hamsap.

So limpek SMS back "ITSS COOOLL YAWWW". I also feel more cool liao.

Nabeh mana tau end up only limpek, Tobby, Weeman and Tobby's friend Ah Chai and Sydney (what kind of lampah name is that). Surprisingly Tiong Beng, Dumbo and Cliffard didnt come. Since papaya farm is like their sole purpose in life. My brother Cliffard somemore sound like having period like that moody, must be kena taruk from wife because always go drink until come back smell like bangkali.

So we explore Red Ruby ourselves lor. The place so-so only. Typical of Malaysian B-grade papaya farm. Room half smaller than La Vega or Champain (aiya kanineh if you papaya-lover you also know where I'm talking about no need explain). Karaoke system is kanasai. But still got some new songs and better than those C-grade farm like Wild Tiger. But sing sing halfway the mic bottom can fall off wan ninnabu! Spoil limpek's sexy Leehom voice only. The beer is RM80 per jug!!! Kan lin lau hia!!! Pee out by God of Fortune wan ar?

The girls are so-so la. Mai hiam beh pai la. The reason is, here is all local girls... Malay, Chinese, Sabahan... all Malaysian. I also feel sibeh 1MALAYSIA. Although no indian girl. Don't ask me why. If I say anything you sure say limpek racist.

So here there wont be any xiao long nus lor. The boss want to protect local business, very patriotic hor don't you think so? Too bad la cause Goldfish Uncle always prefer xiao long nus. But of course the locals are always more siao char boh can play more extreme wan.

I picked a chinese girl, Doreen, so-so only. Can talk can sing can drink but cannot play. Want to tekan her nehneh also must penetrate Buddha 1000 hands defense system. I felt like limpek play Starcraft like that, "primary defense system, engaged!!". "Command center under attack!!". Puah bai.

After a while limpek just think, "kaninah so mahfan just to tekan nehneh. If have to waste so much energy and attention, I might as well go find a girlfriend?". Then limpek also lazy tekan already. So next time if you go, you want to tekan nehneh, dont find Doreen. But if you want harmless good fun and company, find Doreen. Or bring your girlfriend.

Tobby and Weeman's "nasi lemak" girls lagi jialat. Come in for 15mins, like sibeh kaulat liddat. Rub gugujiao, lick their nipples, finger finger and all the sleazy goodness. Then they left for butterfly (because we are very cheap and poor, dowan to book). Then whole night never come back! Wahlaoeh!! Then how? Tobby play with Weeman's gugu and Weeman finger Tobby's kah ch'ng? Hahahaha. "IT'S COOOOL YAWWW"

But the most kaulat is Tobby's friend Ah Chai. He already pre-book this chinese girl, KK, because this chicken worm is kiasu like Tobby also. He always go there and spot this girl before already. Because last time Weeman book her before, she somemore let Weeman finger finger her and wanted to kiss Weeman. But Weeman that time can smell she just puke so got abit of char kuey teow and kangkung belacan aroma. Weeman faster faster siam la. Then that time Ah Chai asked Weeman if he can kacau KK. Weeman said okay lor cause he also beh tahan the kueyteow kangkung smell, but next thing he know, Ah Chai was French kissing this KK. Hahaha this guy really khong kham wan. Go play roll the char kuey teow + kangkung belacan back and forth between their mouths.

Sibeh geli dont you think? People always think French kiss very romantic. Romantic ji koh LAN la limpek say.

But this time is kaulat. While my Doreen is out butterflying, of course limpek take opportunity faster sing song until song song la. Limpek is Leehom voice mah, don't play play. So I syok syok singing, Ah Chai start to touch here touch there with KK already.

Then it was KK turn to sing, so she stand up (but I think she want to siam the chikopek Ah Chai). But while she was standing and singing, Ah Chai go hug her from the back and start to tekan her nehneh. He somemore hug until tight tight, smell the hair, bury the face on the neck, one hand on the nehneh and one hand on the waist, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. HAHAHAH PUAH BAI!!! I think he feel sibeh romantic!! Hahahaha ROMANTIC LANJIAO AH!! Watch too much Titanic ah kaninahhhhh!! Sibeh khong kham! hahaha.

One is a sleazy 30yr old apek just married few years ago and another one is a mabuk prostitute. If this is call romantic, then when I help my first ex to pick up her dog shit last time mah sibeh romantic until super WET? Kanineeeeeeh why she somemore ask me dont touch her must go wash hand first! "ITS NOT COOOOL YAWWWW" i should have said

Then nehmind, after he play love-story stim stim liao then he start to finger finger KK. Then KK slowly move her hand back to touch Ah Chai's small gugu. Then she start playing with the small gugu with one hand behind her back and one hand holding the mic singing!

Wahlaoeh, like that also can multi-tasking! Its like limpek can pangsai, smoke, drink coffee, read comic and listen music at the same time. Really must salute salute.

So limpek tell her "Eh, you go play his gugu and let me sing la dont char siao char pi." So I hijack the mic already and become sexy Leehom voice again. But KNNCCB!! How to perform like rock star when beside me limpek keep hearing Ah Chai moaning OOOOHHHH~~~ AAHHH~~~~ YESSSS~~~ MOMMY DADDY~~~ (ok la, no mommy daddy la, that is very sick liao).

So I try my best to ignore la, kanineh boh huat. Then after he moan here moan there like he is going to melt to the carpet, suddenly I hear:


Limpek and Sydney also bengang dont know what happened. Then Sydney also very khong kham pass him one tissue. Then Ah Chai:

"EHH MORE MORE MORE!! SHIT, stain everywhere liao!! TISSUE!!"

Wah kaninah then only I realize this siao tar bo already pancut liao.

Can you believe it?

Standing like that? with one hand behind her back, touch touch abit only about 3 minutes?

How is that even possible!? You cook maggie, maggie ngam ngam cooked liao can eat liao he already pancut in that position.

Either this KK got the ultimate Goddess Venus hands... or this sampat Ah Chai will pancut everytime he shake his gugu after he pee.

Can you imagine that? Everytime want to pee... open zip... flip out gugu... ppsssssss.....drip drip....shake shake.... AAHHH~~ OOHH~~ YESS~~ cum liao

then... TISSUE TISSUE!!!!


  1. Weeman: KNNCCB, for once, ur posting is actually quite funny

    Hahahaha....and u forgot to mention bout my other girl called Crissy one. The one macam gangster one. Pay her money somore need to kena marah from her

  2. ohh you mean the face abit auntie wan! singing like william hung wan!! i dowan to spoil red ruby business by mentioning her lehh

  3. hahahahahaahahahahahah ........ what is butterflying ?

  4. mr funny innocent anonymous, new post on butterflying dedicated to u liao. Dont say uncle boh kong.

  5. where is this place? Can do cheap advertisement here?

  6. Har? limpek no understand... you want advertise your nehneh ktv here? or you want limpek to advertise the nehneh ktv mentioned in the entry? For the actual name of place, have to email limpek. If not later limpek kena legal problems!

  7. Can girl go there....
    I feel damn curios weh!


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