Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Look Ma, It's A Bung Hole!


Last week everywhere people talking about the singkapo flood. Limpek no need see newspaper, read several blogs also can see many pictures already. Limpek also know from overseas usually flood not covered by insurance, correct boh? Because its quite uncommon natural disaster.

Insurance as usual, always con people this way. You pay and pay and then when shit happens the blardy con-ladies will say "oh mister, soli ha this kind of incident no cover wan. Its written here on page 24356 paragraph 578 and 1/2. Here's a complimentary coffee mug though, we're very sorry to hear about the dead garupa fishes in your car." Suddenly you regret trying to peek down her two unbuttoned blouse rather than paying attention to the super fine prints in the contract.





Thats why insurance is the biggest 'con'-cept in todays industries to bullshit the modern generation.
Do you notice they always have their faces (mugshot) on their namecards? Limpek's boss say wan "only those biggest conmen/conwomen will have their faces on the business cards." Because they need to sell themselves rather than the actual product/service. Because they also know their product/service is bullshit wan.


So after flood everybody bank account also kena wash away. It is such a pity. Alot of fancy cars in singkapo also kena celup water. If in Malaysia not too bad because mostly Proton cars. Proton cars is like aluminium tin like that, very light so can float on water wan. Thats why they charge the local Proton price similar to Mercedes in overseas. Same concept like carbon fiber mah ngam mou?

But lucky Malaysia no such flood problem. Not because we got no flood but its because we had too many floods before. Eventually the stupid gahmen got sick of soaking their lazy wrinkly lampah every other day in muddy water and started launching projects to prevent flood.

Well... actually not really also... limpek take it back. The rich corrupted politician fucks all live at hilltops and high lands anyway... The ones soaking our balls in the sewer water is you and me. The consequences of buying shit-high over-valued houses built in cheap ex oil palm estates. Not only we spend half our life trying to pay off the lampah house, we spend another half trying to kill the fucking termites. The developers (along with the gahmen fucks involved of course) think we are only same standard with termites. They eat wood, we eat grass. Together we live happily ever after in the ex oil palm estate.


"soaking in humid weather promotes fungal growth" Mario & Luigi


But at the very least we're not swimming to work nowadays like how we used to swim back from school during floods. So, mai hiam still beh pai. The only flood we have in Malaysia nowadays are the ones in Parlimen when the ceiling leak.

But then Parlimen only mah... most important place for lawmakers in Malaysia only mah.... what's the big deal? See at times like those we must be positive and remember the theory of relativity from Einstein. If stadium roof can collapse, brandless computers can cost tens of thousands, National Palace can cost 800 million, Port Klang can make billions disappear, hot gers can be blown to pieces, men can be thrown off windows, whats the big deal about some leaky ceilings in Parlimen? So next time feel free to grab a boob or two of a total stranger... and then use the theory of relativity with reference to the pedophile rapists caught yesterday and see if you can convince the police.

Speaking of the leaky Parlimen ceilings who can forget Malaysia's biggest asshole, Datuk Bung Mokhtar Radin...

Now, now, limpek is not trying to be rude or anything, but it wasnt limpek who named him an asshole. Check urban dictionary here.




1. bung hole

Another term for asshole, derived from the hole that a bung (stopper for a hole in a barrel) fits in.

Eg: "Dude, my bung hole is covered with dingleberries."


Mr. Bunghole Mokhtar (barbaric ape MP of Kinabatangan) said to lady MP Fong of Batu Gajah "Mana ada bocor? MP Batu Gajah bulan bulan pun bocor" (where got leak? MP of Batu Gajah every month also leak). Thus Datuk Anus Mokhtar single handedly set sexual discrimination and professionalism back to 50 years ago at the Parlimen. But what did Malaysians expect to come out from an anus other than shit and fart?

Of course this year Datuk Anus was again in the limelight after his polygamous relationship was revealed. His secretly-married second wife was Zizie Ezette, a much sought after actress back then. Limpek think it was WAAYYYY back then coz limpek never even heard her name. Much condemnation has been placed on Datuk Anus as deserved, but perhaps the gold-digging skank should share some of the attacks? She probably craves fatherly love from this oldman 20 years her senior. Eww. Zizie has once again proved that many girls are suckers for assholes. Or the Porsche.




Datuk Anus was fined with polygamy supposedly, but during the hearings the couple displayed very casual and joyful mood, smiling and joking about before speeding off in his Porsche Cayenne. What a mockery of the system. What a mockery of Malaysia. What a joke.


Were they not blowing hot air about the corrupted dumbass councillor of Opposition party yesterday? The Stupid Star paper, as usual, will always feature frontpage whenever a story is detrimental to the opposition party. Well, if they're really interested in wiping up shit, perhaps they can start with their own bunghole.


10 comments:

  1. so sarcastic yet so funny at the same time..in fact i just written something similar lately..haha..

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  2. Walao, make me laugh like mad. haha.

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  3. The mouth is really the bung hole. hahaha. Only he can make ass look so nice on face.

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  4. Blutank, hahaha :x is right

    Blue limpek went and read your post! Really hamsap minds think alike. Your coverage lagi detail! same bunghole featured as well

    Chris, but the stupid bunghole make me mad until can only laugh but canot do anything bout him cept vote.

    Nana, very nice ar the face-anus??? maybe limpek shouldve added some hair...

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  5. Insurance never really pay big bucks when something happen...u will see them investigating the issues like finding the murderer as if their parents got killed.

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  6. aiyo, si aneh eh mah, kua kui tam pok LOL

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  7. Kelv, insurance will find watever excuse they can to reject your claim!!! Unless you pakat with the adjuster and split the profit with him hahaha

    Jz, ee beh sai aneh mah... sibeh khamlan lehhhh!!

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  8. haha the shrooms growing at the lanpa v funny

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  9. Do you know the photojournalist who tried taking pictures of flood prone atas Bukit Timah in Sg was arrested? This is Singapore. Nobody can do what you just did in sg.. Malaysia Boleh.

    ReplyDelete

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