Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sawadeekupppp.... and cipet contractor

Tuesday morning limpek just reach office only, got a call from a contractor liao. Niaseng, limpek cigarrette also havent smoke finish, call up limpek to kaupeh kaubu. This cipet project manager, Mr. P, is from a big public listed construction company. Everytime he call, sure got no good khang thao for limpek. This chao contractor is already famous for being cibai conman already wan.

Limpek guessed correctly, really got no good khangthao. Spend 10 minutes talk cock to limpek about world cup, say cannot adjust back schedule, cannot sleep properly, body aching... kaninahhh cry father cry mother at 9.00am. Granted, limpek also understood. Even today limpek still cannot adjust back from World Cup time. Keep falling asleep after dinner at about 8pm and then wake up 3am. Straightaway jump infront TV and open computer to load betting website. Kaninah, sometimes limpek swear can even hear "GOALLL!!!" when sleeping. Really... siao liao.

But the good thing is limpek has been early to work every single day this week. Like, 30mins early! Boss also quite amazed. Limpek ownself also amazed.

Then Mr.P finally stated his actual intention... want limpek to bring him go massage in F3 near Bintang Palace. Limpek think think, nabeh, F3 where got massage wan! F3 pure chicken farm! nonononono if limpek bring you there, confirm minimum you will spend RM500 for no reason! Project also never give, spend so much for what.

So limpek told him, we just go real massage place la. F3 is for fucking only. Limpek also say body schedule still abit siao-siao, no mood for fucking at all (just an excuse la, where got such thing as no mood to fuck wan. This kind of things only happen to hairy wrinkly mid-age angmoh uncles). Mr.P abit beh song, but he also didnt push much for it, since he knows limpek is aware of his lanjiao pattern.

End up we went to some Balinese Thai massage place limpek also cant remember the name liao. Oh wait, I think the name is Balinese Thai Massage. Abit also not creative.

The place Mr. P lead one, at first he say is clean massage. Reach there nia limpek see got CCTV. Signboard small small. Kanineh, clean lanjiao la clean.

"Dont worry bout it. They do wonderful massage! Of course there's happy endings too if you like it, you know what I mean? And they massage you topless!"

Chao cibai. Kena con by this bastard P. Limpek tell you all these angmoh speaking, professional-looking, well-versed, sharply dressed midage uncles are the worst. Outside pretend like fucking Obama, inside more sleazy than Ron Jeremy. If you dont have the supplier-client kind of relationship with them, you'll never know how sickly pretentious they are. Probably husbands of those aunties who beh tahan limpek's blog. HAHAHA.

Limpek also abit tulan kena con but what to do, social slave is like that one. So off he went with the biggest nehneh Thai girl, so quickly you'd think he is having diarheaa. Limpek told the manager just one session regular massage. No stepping, no oil, no acrobatics, no whacking planes. Kanineh Tuesday noon la what you expect.

But limpek told him it'd be nice if they send the prettiest girl la. At least it'll help brighten a dead Tuesday with a pretty face.

In the room (if you can call that lampah cubicle a room) the setting is quite nice. Got proper massage bed and candles and speakers playing music. The Thai girl also really quite pretty, like, Charmaine Sheh kind
of cute. But as always la, pretty girls means massage like shit wan.

Charmaine Sheh - CHIO!

Thai Charmaine : "Me take off shirt?"

Limpek: "You like lor, me on bed backwards also cannot see anything".

She took off nevertheless, limpek dont think it was a question, rather a statement.

Her massage.... wahpiang... really like shit. Feels more like some chao auntie shopping for steaks for their dirty husbands; prodding and fingering the Kobe quality marbling on limpek's back. Sometimes even feel like she is trying to make fishball on limpek's back. Nabeh, dont know what she's doing.

It was getting boring so limpek talk cock with her to pass time.

Limpek: "So where are you from?"

Thai Charmaine: "Thailand..."

Limpek: (sweat...) "Yes I know Thailand... where in Thailand?"

Thai Charmaine: "Chiang Rai"

Limpek: "Ohhh... Chiang Rai girls all pretty like you?"

Thai Charmaine: "Hehehe... yes all very pretty. You know Chiang Rai?"

Limpek: "Err.... no. But I know Haatyai!"

Thai Charmaine: "Ohhh? Naughty boy ya go Haatyaii..."

Limpek: "Heeheehee... me no naughty but Gojira very naughty"

Thai Charmaine: "Ah? hehehe..."
(limpek dont think she understand)

Limpek: "Limpek also know Bangkok... many people go there bang cock, ya?"

Thai Charmaine: "Ah? hehehe..." (confirm she dont understand. Bangcock joke fail)

Thai Charmaine: "You know speak Thai?"

Limpek: "I know... Sawadee Kupppp..."

Thai Charmaine: "Ohhh hehehe veli goood... sawadee kaaa..."

Limpek: "kapkumkappp..."

Thai Charmaine: "Ohhh? hehehe goood..."

Limpek: "err... pad thai.... lard nha.... tomyum goong..."

Thai Charmaine: "Hehehehe"

Limpek: "...tom ga kai.... pad key mao...."

Thai Charmaine: "Hehe... okay.."

"Tony jaa....bird tongchai...."

Thai Charmaine: "okay okay...." (she also beh tahan limpek liao...)

*5 mins silence...

Limpek: "You got follow news from home?"

Thai Charmaine: "Ah?"

Limpek: "You know... what happen... home... Thailand..."

Thai Charmaine: "Ohhh... yes yes..." (she really understand?)"

Limpek: "You support Abhisit or Thaksin?"

Thai Charmaine: "Aiyaaa they both no good! I support myself!"

Hahaha best answer limpek heard about this. She really does support herself. Probably along with her entire impoverish family in some hantu village... while these reds and yellows are being manipulated by big dickheads to clash and kill for them.

Limpek: "No? No red shirt? No yellow shirt?"

Thai Charmaine: "No no... All no good. Me is good. Me no shirt. Hehehehe"

Isnt she just cute? She was shirtless afterall. Topless and funny... cant get any better than that.

After the lack of conversation, limpek really fell asleep. Probably dreamt of limpek's back being eaten by fishes slowly and turned into millions of fishballs.

Being woken up by Mr. P was probably the least appealing experience ever. Open eyes only see chao contractor instead of a pretty lovely girl. Knnccb...

He excused himself to disappear into the toilet as usual during billing. Limpek took his bill...

MAHAIIIIII!!! Not only that bastard had a massage, he had TWO girls to massage him! And he added the oil + aroma theraphy package and even went the WHOLE package (sex) with one of the girls!

Kaninah wat the fuck he think this is? Dim sum sex buffet ar!??!

Lao tian ar, my money...


  1. I normally will delete this kinda ppl's phone number.

  2. cannot claim from company meh?
    like that how?
    nx time got lobang like this should ask your boss along, then u and mr p both disappear into before the bill appears mah

  3. Kelv, cannot la, he IS frm that big company afterall. Alot of jobs comes from his other counterparts. He can still sabo our company.

    Anon, entertainment cost get deducted from departmental expenses anyway. Meaning limpek's dividend for the department still have to cover this kind of unnecessary expenses. So its lampapalan. If he got give project, spend thounsands also nvm... but this puahbai give armpit hair got la. But still cannot offend is the pekchek part

  4. Not company pay one meh?
    You korek your own poket ah?

  5. no jobs no entertainment lah... just siam this guy lor

  6. blu, entertainment cost deduct from department dividend. So in other words, deduct frm limpek's div anyway.

    Nana, yes la, memang alot of conjob contractors wan.

    momo, limpek always try to siam already... but once in a blue moon still hafto entertain him. Coz if he want he can sabo limpek's company kaukau. Other jobs from his company then will never arrive.

  7. LMAOOOOO! Bitchy customers are always suckass

  8. all those "ying chau" shown in HK dramas are real one...poor u

  9. Wah lan ur Thai v good! U should speak more

  10. jz, limpek will record him on video one day like how chua soi lek kena.

    blue! in every industry in malaysia leh!! sleazy as shit! not just on tv!!

    dbl, limpek will whisper thai poems into ur ear... sui boh?


you talk, i listen

Related Posts with Thumbnails