Thursday, July 8, 2010

Tetex at Archidex

Original pic from Ooi Guan Yi

So last week was Archidex right, the biggest exhibition in Malaysia for building and construction materials. Being a chao uncle contractor it is a tradition for limpek to attend it every year. It’s not like there’s much for limpek to do over there, afterall, every year it’s just the same lanjiao things displayed in a different way.

But being a pretend-engineer / fake specialist limpek at least have to act interested and go look see look see. What? You think there are actually real ‘specialists’ in Malaysia? Why you think so many structures collapse or leak over time? Why for every little project there’s a ton of foreign consultants?

roof can collapse

Malls can burn

Though it helps in Malaysian Tourism... Good spots for cam-whoring

So must always invite limpek's favorite sexy ahlian blogger...

Mamat Zaki Construction Cheat One™

And yet Najib wants to develop nuclear reactor technology. Hohseh... limpek think can say goodbye Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia liao. We shall toast to our colorful future of multiple limb babies and Gojiras crawling about in our drains. Ya, the real Godzillas... not the sexciting batangs. It shall truly be 1southeastasia.... Maybe Rosmah can be queen just because of the sheer size of her head.

Oh, sorry, lets get back to topic before limpek attract too much ISA attention. Sorry gahmen and readers, those were all just lies. No foreign con-sultans, no redundant projects, no nukes and definitely no Rosmah deformed head. She’s as pretty as can be. (limpek just puked a little in my mouth).

Every year limpek will bring this bunch of lazy useless gahmen engineers and consultants to the exhibition. Its not like they’re really interested also, but mention a free day off-office and the free bollocks that they give out in these exhibition, there’s no way these leeches can resist. Throw in a free lunch and they’ll all scramble into your car and maybe even ride on your roof.

Why aren’t they interested? Because these gahmen engineers and their gahmen projects are usually sub-out to private companies anyway. Yet they still need to hire hordes of employees to do nothing but tickle each others’ testicles. Take a wild guess who’s really paying for these testicle tickling sessions? That’s right. But unfortunately it is important to limpek that these projects go back to limpek’s company. Of course, our company being competent or not is the least of concern in these lands. As long as limpek keep massaging their testicles, my building roof can collapse and be featured on the frontpage news it wouldnt even matter. The company can still be awarded to build the national palace next.

TTS... a favorite past-time among Gahmen Works Dept.

So limpek took the usual suspects from their offices and brought them straight to the expo. Barely even an hour into the expo they were already whining about lunch-time and being hungry. Sure, limpek think, while you’re at it why not take my keys and wallet, go drive off and do some shopping. Heck wanna move into my house and sleep on my bed as well?

Limpek took them to a lavish restaurant, and spent them lunch (as usual). The most annoying thing is there’s NEVER any thank yous or indication of appreciation after. They have mastered the act as though it is the most natural thing for me to do (to spend them) like limpek OWES it to them. Sick puahbais.

There is one engineer, a female Malay girl at her early thirties (32-34?), that had always had a thing for limpek. Granted limpek have to pretend like the most charming and generous contractor whenever infront of her & company but for some weird reasons she gets super horny around limpek. Limpek wont deny its kinda flattering, but she’s not like Siti Nurhaliza (younger days) hot or Mizz Nina sexy. She’s kinda… typical looking.

She’s short (barely reach limpek's shoulders) with big eyes and big lips. A little meaty but she has megagantic boobs spilling out all over even with the traditional ‘baju kurung’ Malay gear. Meaty is kinda good... Limpek have no complains for skinny 'raisins on the wall' or meaty 'bah kut teh'... but you know lah what they say, san san jit ki kut, kang hoo kua beh chut. (thin thin one bone, kungfu cannot see) (direct translation fail).

Lina is her name. She doesn’t read blogs (hopefully limpek’s right). Whenever limpek stop by their office or take them out to lunch or dinner, Lina will flirt shameless with limpek. Joking about things like Chinese dick size being small and asking limpek to show her just to prove Gojira…. Or things like claiming she can make limpek shoot 10meters away and strike the walls on the opposite side of her desk. Yeah, shameless flirtings like that even when the other colleagues are around. Usually limpek will be on PR mode and just flirt back harmlessly to keep them happy.

But that day was different. For some reason Lina was being incredibly extra horny. From the moment limpek picked them up, she talked about nothing but sex and lanjiaos! On and on she's going about sex positions la... SM la... tittyjobs la... inserting weird objects la... niaseng even Yu Kym would be embarassed.

In the expo she took limpek’s hand and kepit between her boobs to walk around the exhibition. Limpek had to weasel every way to rescue my arm back. Kanineh! Sibeh beh hiao pai seh! In the car she complained about being tired and started moaning as though she’s having sex. At first everyone thought she was just being funny and laughed it off. But after 15 mins of that shit everyone also realize this siaocharboh ki-hiao until ki-siao liao.

And then she insisted that limpek drop off everyone first, then send her straight home. Way off limpek’s direction! Kaninah, at that point limpek also can sense some bad fengshui coming liao.

Then she started fondling Gojira. WTF!!! There we were, stuck in traffic in the middle of K.L, and this crazy Malay girl in tudung and baju kurung has her hand inside limpek’s pants. Playing with Gojira. Siao liao siao liao...

Of course Gojira couldn’t wait to wake up and roar. Limpek also quite bengang, ask her “ehhh jahat ar you…. What you trying to do! Public ni, Lina!”

She replied, “Want to check your so-called Godzilla mahhh… you kan selalu mengada-ngada tu... Wahhh, wake up already! Somemore want to pretend shy?”

Have to shamefully admit… limpek was quite song that time. Getting a handjob in the middle of town with so many people around us, from a crazy nympho tudung stranger.

Here’s where limpek try to justify myself. Limpek is single, Lina is single, so there’s no hurting anybody. Lina is horny, and if she continues what shes doing, limpek will be horny too. Lina is a high-positioned engineer that can do A LOT of favors for limpek.

Okay. Cibai liao. The excuses doesn’t even sound convincing anymore, does it?

Reach her place already Lina asked limpek “come up and chill la, I live alone, and this place is safe”.

Kanineh. Safe for you la of course. Not safe for Gojira mah.

Wait. Safe? Oh right. JAIS (Islamic religious officers) might just jump our asses and catch us for breaking the close-proximity law. Yes, it’s a ‘crime’ for Muslims in Malaysia to be in close quarters alone in close proximity with the opposite sex. And they can be forced to get married. ‘Khalwat’ is what they call it. But good news for limpek, being Chinese this doesn’t apply to me. Nevertheless she can still get in trouble.

Limpek was thinking, ‘lanjiao la come up chill… come up means today no need exercise already, waist and knee will be tired.’

But Gojira already led limpek halfway up the stairs already HAHAHA.

- fast forwarded -

The sex was pretty disappointing. No BJs, massages, tease or anything. Another dead fish on the bed, expecting limpek to go thru karma sutra myself. The only interesting part was because she's only the second Malay girl limpek has had sex with (non-working girl la, I mean), and the first one who wears a tudung. Limpek asked her to keep her tudung and baju kurung on, because limpek always had a thing for costumes.

Well, tudung and baju kurung arent exactly costumes, but cincai la. Costumes/uniforms are always the best. Limpek had tried nurse, frenchmaid, witch, cheongsam and kimono before with the exs, and it had always been fun. Limpek had always wanted to do it with a girl in tudung, something about barley dangling on the hood of the scart is just exciting. Yes la, sick la, limpek know la.

See what limpek mean?

But... dont end up with this...

But Lina didnt let limpek fire an Olympic load on the tudung. So... no barley on the hood. (sounds like a rap song)

You know that post-orgasm reflections that one always get after sex?

Well... this time around, a sort of cloudy kinda regret is all limpek felt.

Limpek wonder what's wrong...

All, I know is, it just kinda felt like this...

Perhaps they were right...

Casual meaningless sex eats at you slowly over time...

By the time you realize it, there won't be much of you left.


  1. I hope she doesn't ask for seconds later.
    I emphatize you... the last picture is really ..

  2. Serious not? Malay also like that one a -__-

  3. blue, no problem wan... just dont present the opportunity

    jz, ehhh... u think chinese more hamsap than malays? same only la. Cept the japanese... theyre probably more hamsap than anyone.

    mo, fail!!? At least give C- la... straight away F...

  4. But I think is depend on individual one lorrrr...

    By the way I don't know you 'do' Malay too?
    Ok call me racist, I am not very into Asian (especially those who has darker skins than I do) =p

  5. why not?? beautiful girls come in all colours! see, like Alicia Keys

    darker skin than u... liddat limpek mah hafto bleach skin like Michael Jackson?


you talk, i listen

Related Posts with Thumbnails