Saturday, May 1, 2010

Dont play play with Police or you eat cock sandwich

Saturday, May 1st 2010
. Two interesting things happen around the same time. Are they connected? Maybe. Because everything that happens in life is related one way to another. At least that’s what limpek thinks.

Just now limpek go eat dinner with best friend Jeremy Ang. Limpek know Jeremy Ang since nursery already, very different style in character yet many similarities in essence. Jeremy Ang work with family in manufacturing special machine in Bandar Puteri wan. Typical chao uncle kind of jobs like all limpek's friend. Their factory got alot of immigrant workers, mostly skilled labors trained very long already. Most of them are vietnamese (again, coincidentally)

So we were enjoying steamboat and Jeremy Ang told me, “nowadays the Indonesian workers very expensive. Although very skilful and easy to train, they always want to climb your head and charge more and more. Many of them always try to cheat my money or steal material. But then easy to train because can speak Bahasa.”

Limpek say “maybe because you look like Mr.Bean? Look very easy to bruff?”

Jeremy Ang just ignore me. “The Bangala leh, very useless. Under the sun abit they beh tahan already. Next day wont come back. Work very slowly and learn very slow. But they are cheaper, obedient employees and not so pai kia.”

Limpek remember few years back there were many issues of the Indonesian girls all syok at the Bangala workers. They say because the Bangalas more hemsem, look like Sharukh khan.

Sharukh Khan, Indon immigrant woman's idol

They somemore say the Bangala better lover, know how to romen romen and make love slow and steady. Not like the Indonesian workers shake like hamster. So the Indon girls go fuck with the Bangala Sharukh Khans.

Indon hamster beh song

Bangla Sharukh kan sibeh song!!

End up the Indonesian workers tulan the Bangala workers, always go and whack them. The Bangala workers are more gentle and nahpet wan, so end up kena whack like pig head cookie. A few cases the Bangala somemore kena kill.

a dark moment in human history

Alof of cornflake with the law. So nowadays the bosses tulan already they rather hire the Vietnamese, Myanmar, Cambodian or Thais. These guys more kut lat. They dont create too much trouble and they are skilful. Although trying to communicate to them is like talking to limpek's fridge. Can hear sound but cannot understand reply. Fridge also donno wat the fuck you want.

Jeremy Ang's workers are all Vietnamese. Work for very long time already, all fully trained. Jeremy Ang say, they come work for his company, got special Selangor permit wan. Its not a Malaysian permit, just the selangor state. Meaning if they want to go outside Selangor, they have to get letter from employer and their passport. The employer keeps their passport wan. Anything happens the employer will tanggung.

So on Friday, this Viet guy from Jeremy Ang’s factory didn’t come to work. Just for easy reference limpek will call him Tony Jaa. Yes limpek know Tony Jaa is not Vietnamese, but.don’t kaupeh let limpek finish story.

So that friday Tony Jaa never apply leave also. Once in a while these buggers will do this kind of puahbai things simply dont show up for work. Jeremy Ang very tulan but no choice. Just have to get others to cover Tony’s work for that day..

Saturday morning suddenly receive a call from police. This is all the way from Perlis. If you suakus don’t know where is Perlis, its above Penang. Polis say they have arrested Tony there because he was travelling without valid permit and no ID. Tony that stupid bugger also carry one photocopy of passport only.

They pass the phone to Tony, he was sobbing and crying begging Jeremy Ang to come and bail him out. So Jeremy also feel very bad for him, ask him to pass phone to the officer so he can request for station chief. The officer say police chief not in, if want to release have to bring documentation to police station.

Jeremy Ang say "Eh abang, Perlis la! you know how many hours to drive?! 5 hours la! Eh dont like that, kasi tolong abit."

Police officer (in Bahasa) " Yes that is the only way. I can't do anything for you. You want your worker, bring his document to station. No other way."

Jeremy Ang "Ok why not I prove my documentation to the Selangor HQ police station, then they can confirm with you and you can release my worker"

Police "......."

long silence

Police "you wait... I check"

10 mins later (the police most likely go pangsai, smoke, make coffee, then come back), police say "My superior not in, I cannot confirm with you. For now, the only way to release is to come to the Perlis balai. Any other questions?"

Jeremy also dont want to say much already. He know that if he annoy the police somemore, it will mean more testicle pulling for Tony Jaa. So Jeremy consult his father, ask him what to do. Jeremy father got connection with the local police chief, so he call and ask him. The local chief told him, no problem wan, he can help and get him out. But it wont be cheap. (hurray 1malaysia). Because have to go through many stations, its not worth it. Better just send someone there to get Tony. He say the reason is very simple. The station there want your ang pow or kopi money. Other state police cannot simply go grab their rice bowl.

So no choice lor, someone have to go. Then limpek ask Jeremy Ang, "So? Why you still here eating fishball in steamboat tomyam soup with me? Somemore eat until very syok. Got appetite ar? Tony eating Special Polis Hairy Cock Sandwich leh! Very kesian leh that guy!"

Jeremy Ang also tulan, "Eh you dont say until like I got no heart! You know to drive there and back will cost about RM300-400 in petrol and toll? And I dont know how much they want to squeeze from me somemore? Say end up spending RM600-700. That is 3/4 of his salary already you know? And he is too poor to pay back for sure. I cant expect him to also. And to top it off today Labor Day holiday suddenly you want me to cancel all my plan and spend 12 hours driving there, getting him, and then drive back? And my girl dowan to go with me, I have to go alone!"

Limpek also dont know what to say. This puahbai got his points. "But still, that bugger damn kesian la... tonight he sure kena fuck by the big hairy criminals, by the time wait for you, he will have permanent diarheaa, lau sai 2 years straight!"

Jeremy "aiya I also know... but what to do! He ownself also damn kham lan wan. Go there also dowan to inform, not like I wont approve! Passport also dont have how to go! Too bad already la, I'm already going to waste so much money for this. But he'll just have to wait longer la. Hopefully his asshole is very oily"

Limpek almost blurt out... 'Why not I go with you la, just treat it as roadtrip while we rescue him. Limpek will teman you the 12 hours lor, pretend is vacation'... lucky before the words come out the brain processor already go through. Limpek get this image in my head.

Then limpek also dont really want to go with him alone liao.

Lucky Jeremy say "nevermind la, the bugger chief isnt around until Monday anyway. The guy just have to wait la. Monday I ask my supervisor go."


To be continued... type until eyes heavy liao

Disclosure to make sure limpek dont kena jail butt rape: Everything written is fictional and not true at all and meant for blabbering purposes. The Malaysian Police is extremely honest and transparent and great and invincible and intelligent and the greatest gift God has ever given mankind. Limpek already said fiction... but if it sounds true, smells true, looks true then its up to you.


  1. so funny.... your disclosure is the funniest!!
    Shah Rukh khan VS hamster!!! So creative in description

  2. Limpek think the disclosure not safe enough to cover my ass la. Next post must extend coverage liao.

  3. very happy see u finally getting your blog up and running.. laugh until almost lausai.. the book can wait la.. this is much better.

    ur blader in amelika


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