Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Kena Raid While Chiko Hot Ger in Zouk

Last last Friday 30th April 2010
. paiseh... limpek update abit slow

Walaoeh limpek kena police raid!

That same friday Tony Jaa kena police check, limpek also kena police check. This is the second incident limpek was talking about last post.

Velvet also got police raid wan ar? Limpek somemore always hear people say Zouk is number 1 club in KL, police wont kacau wan. What the hell man. Must be Zouk boss angpow not big enough last chinese new year, some enforcement beh song liao.

So that night, my clubbing kaki Hui Lip Hao introduce this hot ger to limpek. Because limpek always bug him ask him to intro ger. This Lip Hao knows alot of hot ger wan. Finally he beh tahan liao he pull this one hot ger to limpek and ask limpek ownself settle. Limpek of course faster put on game-face, wipe away the chikopekness from showing on the face. Limpek game face very important wan... must go through step by step like Cheddarina's facial guide. Limpek feeling generous will share with you the ultimate game-face.

First you must pucker up the lips

then take deep breath suck in tummy deep deep and expand chest

then must squint the eyes hard hard to make sexy eyes

Then kaulat lor.... game face is on...

How? Win lor what else. "The world at your feet" ah dont play play.

So it started out perfect, limpek try to eliminate as many Benglish from limpek's sentences. Limpek also did not refer to myself as limpek. So can still sound like a civilize man... not chao beng uncle like my other chikopek friends. Not too many 'la', 'mah', 'wa', 'leh', 'boh', 'wan', 'neh', etc, u know those Benglish words la.

Limpek try not to talk like this:

"Helo, limpek is called Goldfish la. Come from Penang lor, nehh the Bayan Lepas there mah, u know boh? Very happening place wan. You got hear before boh?

because limpek last time hear sales girl say, cannot talk like that... no chio ger will want. She also say, must soon-soon the english, tarik abit of slang slang, with abit of street words. So limpek watch alot of MTV and improvised to,

"Whaddup shawwtiee, Goldfish Deejayyy in da house yaww. Issa fuckin cool yawww. All the way from the streets of 'Bee Why Elle Pee', island rawk in da house yawww. Yaknow waddyemeannn? Word. Brother, word! Mm-hmm! Dayymnnn!"

Hot ger also start laughing. Limpek think it really works. Must remember to say thank you to sales girl.

Limpek was syok syok chiko-ing this hot ger, Jane, and was asking for her number already. While she was key-ing the number suddenly the manager appear, whisper to us like very kan cheong like that. "Polis sudah mali polis sudah mali!!!" Wahhpiang! Hot Jane and limpek also terkejut! Limpek somemore thought maybe manager also ons that hot Jane and want to chase limpek away! Sabo limpek!

Limpek remember again sales girl's words on how to talk cool. Limpek also try to act hero

"Chiilllll brutha!! Its coool yaww! Aint yall worry bout nut-in. Mo money mo problems! Hotel motel holiday inn yaww! You be my american boy! Baby are you downdowndown? Its cool yaww!"

Hot Jane also giggle and relax. Successful!!! Walaoeh, sibeh stim of myself liao. Really must buy sales girl dinner.

Then manager still look very worried, "Betulkah? You sure no problem ar? They are going to lock down the whole club you know! Zouk, Velvet, Phuture, Arristo... semua sekali boss!"

Limpek start to sweat liao. Sounds like this bugger serious wan wor.

"Wehh... you serious wan ar? Dont play play lehh brother! Confirm boh??"

"Oi brother, of course serious la this kind of thing! Come! You faster follow me I take you out from the back door!"

Wah kanineh liao, from the looks of it, this bugger not joking wan leh. What the flying fuck! Why suddenly got raid wan of all things. Took limpek a few seconds before limpek get a full understanding that its actually happening.

Limpek turned to Hot Jane, and she turn to me... same look of zhar lan dou on our face (accidentally grab balls look). At that time she was still holding my phone, havent key in her number finish yet.

Then suddenly she turn and throw limpek's phone on the table and quickly run! WAHBENG! What the fuck?! The phone slide off the table and fell to the floor! Kanineh lucky floor got carpet wan so my brick handphone didnt shatter to pieces! Siaooo charrr bohhh!!!

Limpek think, nevermind, remember sales girl say must act cool. So limpek go and pick it up, battery all fly out already... then want to turn around and say "Hey babe, dont worry bout nut-in baby, its all chill baby!" (like very cool like that, learn from Ashton Kutcher wan).

Limpek turn around... she disappear liao.

to be continued...

p/s: stay tune for part II, limpek promise it wont take too long


  1. Why did you need to pucker up the lips? So your lips more sexy like Angelina Jolie?

    Raid is so scary, may end up in lokap for a night???

  2. omg... haha lol~ Don't worry I'm sure u'll get another round of picking up

  3. Ghosty, you never see Robert Pattinson? Its the trend, must pucker until like goldfish only hot ger will like.

    dbl, yes la, if so easy give up how to become like rambo liao. Even police cannot stop limpek!!!


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