Friday, May 21, 2010

Premature Male Menopause (chim-chim man! kaulat)

To my one handful of readers... a thousand apologies for the long absence.

Limpek know telling a thousand and one excuses does not justify limpek suddenly disappear like that, as though already abandon this highly-rated (by limpek).... high-traffic (4-5 readers)..... highly recommended (by limpek's 4-5 friends).... highly-arousing (limpek's Gojira) and highly-immoral (according to stupid kd) blog.

But if limpek no give reason, its quite no give face to you 4-5 beloved readers also rite? So limpek will be honest...

Couple of weeks back,

limpek probably hit rock bottom. Jialat depressed

then, as the body always follow the mind, limpek's sexy physical also start to fail

edit: oi, read properly ah! limpek didnt say 'sexual' physical fail! choi choi choi!!!

cough, flu, fever, sore throat, hami lanjiao also got

Wahhh, ultimate jialatness was the combine package. It is even more seong than opening cognac package in Bintang Plaza ktv melon-farm. Add in 4-5 xiao long nu watermelon plus 4-5 nasi lemak watermelon... also not as jialat.

Why like that?

Limpek think, keep that for myself lah. No, its not because of a girl, limpek is not 18 years old anymore. It is probably just the sum of life no longer making sense. Everything's meaningless and there seems to be no way out. I'm sure some of you buggers feel that way before also... No? then please place your lampah on top of your desk right now and drop your keyboard on it.

When limpek started the blog many many gazillion seconds ago, limpek was determined to connect and relate and entertain and be entertained with people of the same essence. Not your standard majority crowd. Not emo here emo there like kanineh TVB kind of blog. Like that stupid fat girl from the old chinese series "green green grass by the river (qing qing he bien cao)",

annoying fat girl

nabey pukitiang always crying wan until limpek also feel like slap kau her. Or those 'oh, lookit me so cool and happening and saying everything tight: So politically right and morally justified!'. Puahbai la. Limpek refuse to be like that. Limpek will make sure the blog dont become like that. Here, we thieves and beggars hoist the colors high. They can live happily in their make-believe world but we're fine standing in the mud.

So limpek couldnt write a word after being struck down like a cicak like that.

Limpek's health start recovering after 4-5 days. It seems as we get older, it starts getting harder to heal? even at 29 it can be felt... how different it is when we were 16. All the puahbai 16 year olds... think liao also tulan.

And sometimes, it is in sickness that you really get to know loneliness.

After limpek's sexy physical heal, limpek took extended long leave, hoping to heal the mental part. If go back to work depressed, at that kind of construction site, limpek think maybe not so good....

by the way, do you know that most tower constructions in Malaysia sure got foreign laborer accident die before wan? Can say almost every project limpek was involved in. And usually everything is kept quiet wan. So if you stay or work in a tower in Malaysia, don't look if you hear knocking on your floor window. Bring some fruits to pay for 'toll'

So limpek took further leave and went for vacation in a tiny island by myself. Its a cheap cheap diving resort with no 5 star fancy facilities. Everyday is nasi lemak or fried rice or bread. With dilluted sirap bandung. So dilluted limpek should just call it SB short form. Not even deserve to pronounce fully. The hut that limpek live in is like those jaga's pondok in those factories... you know? those guardhouses where the drunk jaga is sleeping most of the time. The toilet reminds me of limpek's primary school toilet. Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre meatroom movie set.

But the island, the beach, the mountain was beautiful. No more than 12 person in the entire island including staff also. Limpek was running around naked most of the time also nobody pengsan. Gojira is most happy to be singing in the sun.

Limpek sleep on the beach, climb mountains, swim oceans, pee on crabs, draw giant nehneh on golden sand, jump from rocks, swing on trees, eat nasi lemak, drink SB, sun-tan Gojira, Gojira get burned, put ice on Gojira, chase monkey, get chased by monkeys, try to find angmoh nehneh to peek, try to see if got hot diver, try to hear if anyone fucking loudly in other hut, try to peel coconut with bare hands, break many nails... and all that alone for 5 days 4 nights.

They were incredibly great days.

By the end of it, I guess limpek found something to save myself.

So here now limpek is back. =))))))
And limpek still have alot of stories to tell you

Dont worry because Goldfish Uncle will always remember you!!!


  1. I guess I am having early menopause now too. So far have not 'Green green grass by the river' yet in my blog. Try not too. Your runaway trip to the island sound fun, just you and your gojira. Poor Gojira, sunburned him. haizzz...

  2. hahaha still alive, just become charsiew Gojira. Kamsia kamsia! Glad to be back! Glad to be black! Xu yalar maybe leh. But shouldnt that happen only after u marry and have many useless kids, wife become saggy, job becomes shitty, hair become spaghetti and girls see also geli? that time can go commit suicide liao.

  3. Hey, I'm the anonymous that told you I loved your manga :)

    Now, I leave a nick, at least not a "anonymous" lor. So next time if you see bluetank, it's me la, ok.

    Where you go oh??? Just 12 on the island???
    Bidong ah? Tenggol ah? so few geh.

  4. ok bluetank... sounds like a porn movie la. Revenge of la blue tanker. Hahaha

    Island was in Malaysia! Upper East coast, one of the tiny unpopular ones. Bidong, tenggol, very nice??

  5. Bluetank was one of my ICQ nicknames ages ago.
    Don't always think too salty wet la

    I've been to Lang Tengah, and REdang. Bidong and Tenggol not yet, cos u say so few people, so can't be perhentian, redang or lang tengah lor. Now cannot go snorkelling la, both my girls too small. Wait til they get bigger, then I bring them to the sea to see clown fish, not gold fish.


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