A Hero Named Vijay

Limpek just wanted to share a funny conversation that limpek heard on air last saturday. It was Hitz FM, JJ and Ean were taking calls from public regarding the most embarrassing things caller's parents had exposed to the caller's friends. There were a bunch of boring lame stories like getting chased by turkey or whatever at the begining, and limpek almost wanted to switch channels already.

Then this guy, Vijay, called. Limpek will try to relate the whole conversation to you but bear in mind it was a couple of days ago so details might be slightly off.

According to JJ and Ean, Vijay was 40. So they were quite excited assuming that a guy that age must've had something good to tell. Limpek was only half paying attention that time because these DJs tend to go on and on about things sometimes.

This is a family-friendly radio station

Vijay : When I was a little boy, about 3-4 years old, my mother used to bathe me. Apparently I was very sensitive to temperature changes, and whenever it gets a little hotter or colder, my -BEEP- will be standing straight up.

JJ & Ean: HAHAHAH

Vijay: Ya, and my mother will tell all my friends about this...

JJ: HAHHAHAHA

Ean: Dude, your mom talks about that kinda stuff, that's just creepy dude!

Vijay: Ya, so whenever my -BEEP- kena cold or hot water, it will go straight up. And it will actually be standing for a very long time. Apparently It was very sensitve. That's what my mother will say.

JJ & Ean: WAAHAHAHAHA

Vijay: But nowadays... it's just not as sensitive as before. (*caught a slight note of sadness there)

JJ & Ean: WAHAHAHAHA (these buggers just kept laughing only)

Ean: Dude, dude! Did your mom tell everyone this story on your wedding day?

Vijay: Ya.... That is exactly why my wife decided to marry me that day


HAHAHAHA. Vijay is the hero of the day. Someone with that kind of wit and humor should be a DJ.

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Anyway, last week limpek posted about a very suey day and actually receive a few mails from readers and feedbacks from friends regarding their even more suey days. Limpek will try to get those posted up soon because they were really sibeh funny. Hearing about others suey-siaoness is always relieving for both sides so that life doesnt get too hard on you. Its all about learning to laugh at ourselves isnt it? And then laugh back at life.

But anyhow, limpek have had more lemons thrown my way these lately. And might end up have to resign from my job very soon. With no future plans mapped out yet. Limpek is quite in a fix and lost in thoughts. Can say limpek currently is like the guy didnt wear underwear and didnt pay attention after peeing so end up zipping up on his gugubird. And limpek is the gugubird. Foreskin halfway stuck in zipper already bleeding like hell. Want to pull zipper down will be like double cutting the skin. Continue pull up can also say goodbye to foreskin. In other words, jialat.

This has gotten to limpek quite heavily and blogging to keep the spirit of 'hua-hee-dio-hor' tends to get difficult at times like these. Someone smart once told limpek, "share your sunshine but hide your demons". So limpek will deal with the demon myself.


But anyway limpek just googled 'caught in zipper' and people actually wrote a medical article about it. Quite amazing.

From http://www.ncemi.org/cse/cse1113.htm

11.13 Zipper Caught on Penis or Chin

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Presentation

Usually a child has gotten dressed too quickly and not wearing underpants, accidentally pulled up penile skin into his zipper. The skin becomes entrapped and crushed between the teeth and the slide of the zipper, thereby painfully attaching the article of clothing to the body part involved (most often the penis or less often the area beneath the chin).

What to do:

• Paint the area with a small amount of povidone-iodine and infiltrate the skin with 1% lidocaine (plain). This will allow the comfortable manipulation of the zipper and the article of clothing.
• Cover the area with mineral oil. This lubricates the moving parts and often frees the skin without having to cut the zipper.
• If the mineral oil alone does not work, then cut the zipper away from the article of clothing to leave yourself with a less cumbersome problem.
• Cut the slide of the zipper in half with a pair of metal snips or an orthopedic pin cutter. The patient is less likely to be frightened if this procedure is kept hidden from his view. If you are unable to break the two halves of the zipper slide apart using a metal cutter, then take two heavy duty surgical towel clamps and place their tongs into the side grooves at both ends of the slide. then grip one clamp firmly in each hand and then twist your wrists in opposite directions. This often will pop the two halves of the zipper slide apart, releasing the entrapped skin.
• Pull the exposed zipper teeth apart, cleanse the crushed skin, and apply an ointment such as povidone-iodine.
• Tetanus prophylaxis should be administered as needed.

What not to do:

• Do not cut clothing if mineral oil releases the zipper.
• Do not destroy the entire article of clothing by cutting into it. You only need to cut the zipper away allowing repair of the clothing.
• Do not excise an area of skin or perform a circumcision; it onlv creates unnecessary morbidity for the patient.

Discussion

Newer plastic zippers have made this problem less common than in the past, but it still occurs, and it is a very grateful patient who is released from this entrapment.

References:

• Nolan JF, Stillwell TJ, Sands JP: Acute management of the zipper-entrapped penis. J Emerg Med 1990;8:305-307.
• Kanegaye JT, Schonfeld N: Penile zipper entrapment: a simple and less threatening approach using mineral oil. Pediatric Emergency Care 1993;9:90-91.

This has got to be one of the few biggest trauma limpek had during kindergarten. Baby Gojira that time kena zip up and blood was spilling everywhere. Limpek cry like shit thinking doctor will have to cut off Gojira liao. Then somemore limpek's mother that time dont know what to do, go and call our neighbors for help. And then call her sisters (limpek's aunts). Kaninah they all form one circle around limpek and discussed what to do while limpek in the middle bleeding and screaming and crying for Baby Gojira. Abit like Lord of The Rings, nabeh... Fellowship of the Zipped Penis.

End up limpek's favorite kiddy jeans was cut until small small pieces. Only two pieces of cloth and the zipper left. Kaninah as if butterfly wings grow on Baby Gojira. Then when they pull each cloth apart limpek remember screaming as though Baby Gojira will be gone forever.

Until today still can shiver when think about it.