Monday, June 7, 2010

B2B Hartamas Part 2: Tomyum Trap, Gojira Attack!




When limpek came out of the room... this was what limpek saw on the waiting lounge. Limpek's chikopek friends looking like they had figure out the ultimate true happiness of life. Dont even have to meditate under the Bo tree. Can see their legs also shakey-shakey

Tobby as usual is in the toilet. For some weird reason he always have to pangsai everytime after massage. Sometimes, he massage halfway will tell the masseuse to wait. Then he has to go toilet pangsai. Kanineh this kind of disgusting puahbai. Somemore keep farting when the masseuse step on his back, think we cannot hear.


Actually Tobby's pangsai problem got underlying medical reasons. Limpek show you the doctor diagram, easier to understand.

very clogged passages



You see?

This is why you need a clean digestive system. Tobby's intestines is too filled with leftover chocolate cake. Thats why doctor always ask you to eat fruits and vegetables to clear your intestines. Then only pangsai will become soon-soon.

Now if got too much chocolate cake here and there, once the masseuse put pressure on one part, all will rush to the back and cause traffic jam. Like the kind of traffic jam in Penang bridge. Want to fart also very hard to find exit.


Too much trafffic jam also no good for health. The chocolate cake will absorb into your body and later your sweat turn brown colour then you jialat. So listen to limpek, drink more water, eat more vegetable and fruits.



Okay so what actually happen before limpek come out and see chikopeks all looking like just kena lottery? To be honest limpek abit shy to tell. But then nevermind la, life is too short to be shy.



So back to about 20 minutes before...

Tomyum say "Hamsemmm... you want massage there? Me make come out veli niceee..."

Limpek say "YES! FASTER MAKE COME OUT VELI NAIS!!!


Tomyum was sibeh experienced. She knows how to change gear, fast to slow, slow to fast at exact paces. Not like limpek's last girlfriend Vivian Lee. Last time start only straight away gear 5. Pull and tug so kaulat, nabeh, maybe she thought it was fishing line stuck in the rocks? Then almost cum that time she slow down to 70 year old auntie Tai Chi pace. Then somemore sometimes can yawn wan. Nabehh....



Tomyum, every 2 minutes will ask "Yes? Baby ham-semmm... you liiiike?" then she will say "oo-yess me liiike your gun.. very big and hard yes?"


Compare to Vivian Lee last time, every 2 minutes will complain "why so long wan! Tsk... jierrr!!" then give you the face like she is the ahlong you owe her money. The most jialat is when she say "Tsk! Jieerr!! Dowan already la! Tired already!! You finish yourself!"




Okay you get my point. Tomyum handjob is sibeh kaulat. Halfway she go through each gear, turn hand clockwise, anti-clockwise, clockwise AND anti-clockwise... (wahpiang she really cock wise), the suddenly ask limpek. "you want me suck? very big and hard me want to suckkk... hmmm... baby ham-semmm?"

Wah kanineh gear 4 already that time! Suddenly handbrake stop and purposely ask me this kind of question. The feeling is like want to sneeze but suddenly sneeze disappear! Or like want to fart during quiet meeting but cannot! Limpek head also blank already, dont know why image of waterfall keep appearing only.


Then she say "only 50 ringgit more... hmm? let me suck?"


Shit.

This Tomyum also got go Advance Sales and Marketing seminar by Robert Kiyosaki wan must be. Limpek feel like kena sales trap last minute, want to say no also impossible since Gojira look at me like want to bite me already.


Limpek took a deep breath. Think of our "First Lady" Rosmah in grandmother panties. Okay good, Gojira got scared and shrink abit.
Now the blood start to flow to the brain upstairs again. Limpek processor start to make logic:

  1. Tomyum ger might not be clean.
  2. Limpek also almost cum already, later she kiss Gojira only straight away game over liao mah very wasted?
  3. RM50 can buy 1 more jug of beer for happy hour!

Actually limpek most worried because limpek very kiamsiap the Tomyum doesnt look very clean. Not to say she very smelly or got cockroach running around her body, but then this kind of judgment you have to learn quickly or risk kena desease. Limpek dont want later Gojira grow mushroom.

Limpek see she also dont have Listerine to wash her mouth along with all the medical stuff they gargle with before they give blowjob. The professional ones always also got Listerine and those medical mouthwash. Then they will usually apply the Listerine on your gugujiao also, making it burn until become ba-gua. But limpek dont know why bother with Listerine. Nabeh Listerine only kill bad breath-bacteria la puahbai. STD cannot die also! Just use the medical wash can already.

This Tomyum, everything also dont have. The breath doesn't smell, the teeth looks clean and there's no suspicious sore around the mouth. But limpek ka lu kong its always best not to take risk!

So limpek say "Its okay darling, just continue. Don't stop anymore okay? Very good already. You are very very good!"

Tomyum ger look abit disappointed, but she smile also since limpek say she is very good. So she continue with her gear 1 to gear 5, clockwise and anticlockwise, on and on and on....


and on and on...


and on...


What you expect to happen? Gojira fail on limpek and fall asleep?





OF COURSE NOT!!!



As with all good massages, it must have a happy ending.Although many Goldfish Ultramen Babies have to die in the tissue that night, but still their sacrifice is necessary for the happy ending.

The things limpek have to do for Gojira.... sigh...


So is this the end of the story? Can say so lah if you are those cipet who have sex straightaway without going through the oral and mental stimulation. Foreplay is the word. But because limpek so cheong hei talk so long already limpek have to save one detail for next entry.

Here's the thing... why is limpek's brother Cliffard looking like this? Abit different expression from the other two



Well, give limpek 2 days and limpek will finish that part of the story la. Alot of other things limpek wanna say also need to catch up liao. Puahbai boss... always chase me out of office.

7 comments:

  1. no comments so i post 1 comment!!! hehe
    continue to post!!!!!!!!!!1

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Tomyum say "Hamsemmm... you want massage there? Me make come out veli niceee..."

    Wahhhaha...Sekali make the 大便 come out, not the 精子 come out

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha. need think so much before that special CPR one. Are you accountant? hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahaha, ur ex so bad one XD

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anon, kamsia kamsia!
    BTC, shit come out wan is Tobby!
    Nanana, processor run very fast wan... pentium 486
    Kelv, yalar damn buey tahan rite!?

    ReplyDelete
  6. u have 2 heads...... and your 2 heads can still work under extreme conditions, very good, keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  7. hahaha, Gojira got his own head. Limpek got my own. See at the time who more fierce only.

    ReplyDelete

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