Dont play play with Police or you eat cock sandwich

Saturday, May 1st 2010. Two interesting things happen around the same time. Are they connected? Maybe. Because everything that happens in life is related one way to another. At least that’s what limpek thinks.

Just now limpek go eat dinner with best friend Jeremy Ang. Limpek know Jeremy Ang since nursery already, very different style in character yet many similarities in essence. Jeremy Ang work with family in manufacturing special machine in Bandar Puteri wan. Typical chao uncle kind of jobs like all limpek's friend. Their factory got alot of immigrant workers, mostly skilled labors trained very long already. Most of them are vietnamese (again, coincidentally)

So we were enjoying steamboat and Jeremy Ang told me, “nowadays the Indonesian workers very expensive. Although very skilful and easy to train, they always want to climb your head and charge more and more. Many of them always try to cheat my money or steal material. But then easy to train because can speak Bahasa.”

Limpek say “maybe because you look like Mr.Bean? Look very easy to bruff?”

Jeremy Ang just ignore me. “The Bangala leh, very useless. Under the sun abit they beh tahan already. Next day wont come back. Work very slowly and learn very slow. But they are cheaper, obedient employees and not so pai kia.”

Limpek remember few years back there were many issues of the Indonesian girls all syok at the Bangala workers. They say because the Bangalas more hemsem, look like Sharukh khan.

Sharukh Khan, Indon immigrant woman's idol

They somemore say the Bangala better lover, know how to romen romen and make love slow and steady. Not like the Indonesian workers shake like hamster. So the Indon girls go fuck with the Bangala Sharukh Khans.

Indon hamster beh song

Bangla Sharukh kan sibeh song!!

End up the Indonesian workers tulan the Bangala workers, always go and whack them. The Bangala workers are more gentle and nahpet wan, so end up kena whack like pig head cookie. A few cases the Bangala somemore kena kill.

a dark moment in human history

Alof of cornflake with the law. So nowadays the bosses tulan already they rather hire the Vietnamese, Myanmar, Cambodian or Thais. These guys more kut lat. They dont create too much trouble and they are skilful. Although trying to communicate to them is like talking to limpek's fridge. Can hear sound but cannot understand reply. Fridge also donno wat the fuck you want.

Jeremy Ang's workers are all Vietnamese. Work for very long time already, all fully trained. Jeremy Ang say, they come work for his company, got special Selangor permit wan. Its not a Malaysian permit, just the selangor state. Meaning if they want to go outside Selangor, they have to get letter from employer and their passport. The employer keeps their passport wan. Anything happens the employer will tanggung.

So on Friday, this Viet guy from Jeremy Ang’s factory didn’t come to work. Just for easy reference limpek will call him Tony Jaa. Yes limpek know Tony Jaa is not Vietnamese, but.don’t kaupeh let limpek finish story.

So that friday Tony Jaa never apply leave also. Once in a while these buggers will do this kind of puahbai things simply dont show up for work. Jeremy Ang very tulan but no choice. Just have to get others to cover Tony’s work for that day..

Saturday morning suddenly receive a call from police. This is all the way from Perlis. If you suakus don’t know where is Perlis, its above Penang. Polis say they have arrested Tony there because he was travelling without valid permit and no ID. Tony that stupid bugger also carry one photocopy of passport only.

They pass the phone to Tony, he was sobbing and crying begging Jeremy Ang to come and bail him out. So Jeremy also feel very bad for him, ask him to pass phone to the officer so he can request for station chief. The officer say police chief not in, if want to release have to bring documentation to police station.

Jeremy Ang say "Eh abang, Perlis la! you know how many hours to drive?! 5 hours la! Eh dont like that, kasi tolong abit."

Police officer (in Bahasa) " Yes that is the only way. I can't do anything for you. You want your worker, bring his document to station. No other way."

Jeremy Ang "Ok why not I prove my documentation to the Selangor HQ police station, then they can confirm with you and you can release my worker"

Police "......."

long silence

Police "you wait... I check"

10 mins later (the police most likely go pangsai, smoke, make coffee, then come back), police say "My superior not in, I cannot confirm with you. For now, the only way to release is to come to the Perlis balai. Any other questions?"

Jeremy also dont want to say much already. He know that if he annoy the police somemore, it will mean more testicle pulling for Tony Jaa. So Jeremy consult his father, ask him what to do. Jeremy father got connection with the local police chief, so he call and ask him. The local chief told him, no problem wan, he can help and get him out. But it wont be cheap. (hurray 1malaysia). Because have to go through many stations, its not worth it. Better just send someone there to get Tony. He say the reason is very simple. The station there want your ang pow or kopi money. Other state police cannot simply go grab their rice bowl.

So no choice lor, someone have to go. Then limpek ask Jeremy Ang, "So? Why you still here eating fishball in steamboat tomyam soup with me? Somemore eat until very syok. Got appetite ar? Tony eating Special Polis Hairy Cock Sandwich leh! Very kesian leh that guy!"

Jeremy Ang also tulan, "Eh you dont say until like I got no heart! You know to drive there and back will cost about RM300-400 in petrol and toll? And I dont know how much they want to squeeze from me somemore? Say end up spending RM600-700. That is 3/4 of his salary already you know? And he is too poor to pay back for sure. I cant expect him to also. And to top it off today Labor Day holiday suddenly you want me to cancel all my plan and spend 12 hours driving there, getting him, and then drive back? And my girl dowan to go with me, I have to go alone!"

Limpek also dont know what to say. This puahbai got his points. "But still, that bugger damn kesian la... tonight he sure kena fuck by the big hairy criminals, by the time wait for you, he will have permanent diarheaa, lau sai 2 years straight!"

Jeremy "aiya I also know... but what to do! He ownself also damn kham lan wan. Go there also dowan to inform, not like I wont approve! Passport also dont have how to go! Too bad already la, I'm already going to waste so much money for this. But he'll just have to wait longer la. Hopefully his asshole is very oily"

Limpek almost blurt out... 'Why not I go with you la, just treat it as roadtrip while we rescue him. Limpek will teman you the 12 hours lor, pretend is vacation'... lucky before the words come out the brain processor already go through. Limpek get this image in my head.




Then limpek also dont really want to go with him alone liao.

Lucky Jeremy say "nevermind la, the bugger chief isnt around until Monday anyway. The guy just have to wait la. Monday I ask my supervisor go."


..

To be continued... type until eyes heavy liao



Disclosure to make sure limpek dont kena jail butt rape: Everything written is fictional and not true at all and meant for blabbering purposes. The Malaysian Police is extremely honest and transparent and great and invincible and intelligent and the greatest gift God has ever given mankind. Limpek already said fiction... but if it sounds true, smells true, looks true then its up to you.

TNB, Fuck you. Limpek and 7 Viets

Hahaha limpek finally got 1 subscriber for the Goldfish Sexual Harassment subscription liao. How can limpek not give plesen to the very first subscriber!? And hearing miss dblchin say " dont ...photoshop..... my pic..." limpek already cannot hear the rest and fingers already itchy. You already know limpek like to give plesen wan. And xiaxue say photoshop more important than life. So...

TADA



***edit: oops... kena tiu by first subscriber already. So picture has been removed. Soli to dbklchin, and to others who will not get to see.***

Plesen for first subscriber. The author of the website Miss Camwhore City where limpek always visit to look at her pics and imagine her that way like the pic above.



Back to blogging.


Wednesday 29th. House no electricity! What the flying fuck! Limpek thought today after work go gym for a while. Then come back write one entry about cheong-ing last night. Then go to sleep. Limpek reach home liao, kanineh, see all dark dark. Whole area also like that.

This is the second time this year already no electricity. Its like Tenaga Nasional song song go and pull out your plug, let your kah ch’ng roast at night so that people cannot sleep and end up fucking. Maybe got conspiracy to boost population this way.

You all every year got donno what earth hour, turn off all power for one hour or something like that. Jiak sai la. Limpek all the time also got earth hour wat. This year already got 48 earth hours. Thanks to environmental friendly TNB. Puahbai.

No wonder the Namewee guy so tulan go and fuck TNB in youtube. This siaokia really hero wan. Limpek know its old video la but not everything also must be new and happening wan okay?

Seriously limpek don’t know what kinda shit the gahmen was talking about when they claim we have first world facility. Stupid puahbais. Having the tallest tower for a few years, building a badly invested F1 circuit, Nasikandar development, Port Klang Freak Zone, Monsoon D Cup and all these nonsense doesn’t make us first world one bit. None of the utilities or facilities that limpek need to use works fine.

Electricity: TNB. Tiu Nia Bu. Namewee already explained.

Water: SYABAS. Syabas! Tahniah! Anda telah memenangi bekalan air berbentuk teh kosong untuk selama lamanya.

Internet: Telekom. Wah.. streamyx. Want to see Maria Ozawa porn? limpek will open page, go cook maggi, eat finish maggi, go pangsai, then shower, then wipe dry then sit down, then the 2 minute video ngam ngam load finish. Oh, then suddenly power outage.

Satellite TV: ASTRO. Everytime rain/storm no reception. So meaning when weather is good we should stay home watch TV? But when rain/storm we should go out do something? Like, go get hit by lightning? So Astro is literally telling us to go die? Limpek didn’t bother mentioning RTM because limpek don’t even understand why they exist.


Basic utilities also cannot get it right. First world they say? But knowing them, their standard excuse will be “Eh, be thankful you even got this services la. These are luxury living facilities you know? First world comfort utilities you know?”

Yes, now limpek understand. Last time when limpek’s father always tiu kau me for failing subjects in class or skipping school, limpek should have told him “Eh laupek, be thankful la, limpek not selling K to classmates, smoking weed in school, whacking the teacher and fucking the substitute tudung teacher! So you should praise the heaven for not birthing a devil.”

But then limpek’s laupek would’ve slapped me from Malaysia all the way to Zimbabwe. That’s the kind of mentality our puahbai gahmen or gahmen linked agencies have. ‘Always compare with the worst so you can feel the best’.

So limpek reach home, housing area completely dark dark. Then see the neighbour all outside smoking and talking under the moon, the only source of light.

Neighbour got 7 Vietnam guys all squeeze in one house wan. The house only has 3 rooms, I don’t know how they make it. Want to pangsai also have to take number like Maybank.

But better than last time limpek’s uncle rented a 3 room kampong bungalow to 12 bangala. Walaoeh, when they play the cassette radio, become like Zouk liao. Everytime they cook dinner is like mini kenduri like that. Seems like very happening.

All 7 Vietnam pai kia was outside, not wearing shirt, face like very tulan. They must be do construction site wan bacause a few of them wearing safety helmet. I don’t know why midnight they still wear helmet in the dark. Maybe they think the Americans still want to bomb them?

The streetlight all also dark, but the moon was very bright. I ask them, “No electric?” The one wearing helmet say “Harrr? Prong prong something (don’t know what he saying)”.

Then limpek point to streetlight and make sound “BZZZ BZZZ… no have?” Mr. Helmet smiling very happy say “yes yes no have, 9 o croc”. Probably mean since 9pm.

Limpek also don’t know why he so happy. Then limpek ask “until tomorrow? Morning?” Mr. Helmet say “Yes yes!!” then start to laugh happily and the others also join him.

Limpek then ask “No one complain?”, Mr. Helmet look very lost and don’t know what to say. Then he answer “Er... kom krengg? One? Two? Three? No, seveng”

Limpek (= ____ =’’’) …

Limpek “O-kay.. seveng seveng…” Then the whole 7 viets starts laughing like crazy. The only missing thing in the picture was probably Snow White.

Limpek think this bunch of Vietnamese is abit sot in the head. Like that also funny. Well, at least they don’t look so tulan anymore. Limpek also considered make them happy liao.

This few Vietnamese very hardworking wan. They leave to work early in the morning, come back usually after sun go down. You see their skin become darker and darker, probably toiling under the sun. They rarely eat outside, maybe because want to save money. You can hear them cooking together and feel the kenduri every dinner time.

They usually stay in the house. Sometimes play guitar and sing together in the balcony. Their voice is abit kanasai but can still sense the passion. But tonight with the whole area’s light out they are gathering outside under the moonlight. Seems like tonight was special to them.

Maybe it reminds them of home at Vietnam kampung? A bunch of shirtless men after a hard days work, smoking and talking by the padi field with no electric. They all seem used to having no electricity.

Maybe the few wearing helmet because it feels like kampong strawhat?

It seems like to them, no matter what kind of shit life throws at them, its okay wan. Because in the end, they still have each other. And that's good enough a reason to laugh together.

Limpek also start to become more fond of these sot Vietnamese.

Man with Hymen and Filipino Pimple Remedy

Last entry's quiz, Old Beng got it right ...

Limpek tell you veteran blogger really no play play wan. One look and Old Beng already know whose hair it is. Yes, its xiaxue's hair (btw, need to pay copyright to post blogger pic or use their name wan ar? I donno these things wan leh, please dont sue poor uncle)

















very hot can see side boobs

Pic download from google of course, just like all my other images. Limpek dont even own a camera.

Oldbeng is the famous author of the blog, lim peh ka li kong, very famous and entertaining wan. Thank you for participating in the Million Dollar Goldfish Uncle competition. The plesen is a Million Dollar worth of a photoshop edited pic of yourself. Since xiaxue always say photoshop is more important than life itself.

But limpek look and look, nabeh all your pics also you censor out. Boh huat... have to make do. So here is your hemsem oldbeng kena z'ng (modify) like how people z'ng cars. No, not car z'ng.

TADA!!!

ezos pipe also tua tua ki already. Like Mugen Honda Kawasaki Ninja

Sibeh sexy liao.

So just now limpek work work very tired, run to take a long break and pangsai in toilet. Its the most common slacking tactic in Malaysia. Limpek company toilet small and smelly wan, have to share with staff. Going to start make chocolate cake liao suddenly remember limpek didnt bring phone in to play play. Shit! Si liao... sien kah na lan liao. Meaning will be bored like penis. Yes, penis usually quite bored wan.

So limpek simply grab old newspapers laying around to read and kill time. Lucky got few newspaper havent read before. Found one article that made me laugh until puah bai suddenly. It was the 22 April 2010 'The Star' newspaper on page T14 Woman section.

What? Uncle cannot read Woman section meh? Got alot of lingerie model pictures cannot ar?

Cant find it online so limpek will be generous and type the article out for you.

BLISSFUL IGNORANCE

Basic biology is a given but you would be amazed at how little young women in parts of Asia understand their bodies. In this day and age, 68% of them still can't tell female fact from fiction. Here are some results of 'The Kotex Bodylife IQ Study':

India: Young Indian women are the most shy, and more than 3/4 have never examined their own genitals. They were the most misinformed about their bodies with 71% young women not knowing that menses and urine don't flow from the same opening.

Vietnam: There is a strong prevalence of myths and generally low basic health knowledge. Only 2 in 10 womencould tell the difference between fact and myth and 77% could not answer the questions on pregnancy correctly.

Indonesia: The most clued in when it came to health questions and distinguishing truth from fiction, yet Indonesian women scored the lowest when it came to pregnancy and biology. 53% believe that they only have two orifices down there.

The Phillipines: The least body smart in the region. 54% believe that beer increases menstrual flow and 38% believe that applying the blood from your first period to your face prevents pimples. 98% got the biology questions wrong with 26% believing that only men have hymens.

...

By this time limpek was already laughing till accidentally farted few times liao. Luckily no one inside the toilet. Walaoeh, this article donno real or not wan. Got this kind of nonsense?!?

What if Cheesie was Filipino? Walaoeh her Cheeserland blog entry will be like this!!!





But even so, limpek still love cheesie.

Then somemore what Man got hymen! Where?? In the gugu or the kar ch'ng?? If like that the moment I pangsai, limpek mah lose virginity liao!? OHHH NOOO! Maybe thats why pangsai got blood sometimes?? Cause kah ch'ng hymen torn?

But limpek think the kah ch'ng hymen must be one way street wan. Shit can go out, 'things' cannot go in. Thats why kah ch'ng hymen will be intact. You say cannot? Nabeh, you engineer meh? Who say cannot... limpek design for you.



See, that way kah ch'ng hymen makes total sense. If shit wanna come, the passage directs it to soon-soon flow out. But if you simply insert things from outside, then the system will fail!!! Causing hymen to breakdown!

There you go, kah ch'ng hymen.


So the article goes on with Malaysia and then Singapore. But its not so interesting anymore. Basically hinting how gong cipet some people can be.

Malaysia: Malaysian women scored the lowest on pregnancy and virginity issues - 84% failed to aswer the pregnancy questions correctly. Myths also featured strongly with 87% being undable to tell truth from myth.

Singapore: The women generally had higher than average scores overall (kanasai..) but displayed poor knowledge on virginity and feminine biology. All of them knew how sexually transmitted diseases were contracted but 42% believe that they can't get pregnant during menses.

Limpek was thinking the Malaysians, 'what lanjiao virginity issues? Got fuck means no virgin, no fuck means virgin la!'. But then again after the stupid American president Bill Clinton, now blowjob or anal sex might not be considered sex anymore... so can consider still virgin. Limpek think ang moh mostly khong kham wan.

But Malaysia is all kong-kong lampah song wan. Blowjobs are not even legal... yet if less than 70% of our gahmen people and politicians dont indulge in it before, limpek will chop off my own nut and eat it. Or let lightning strike one of my nut and fry it. Puah bai hypocrites!!! Now they make the women confused with something as simple as virginity.

Limpek finish pangsai, settle everything, wanted to leave the toilet liao. But leg become cramp already because sit so long. Limpek was about to throw the newspaper aside when suddenly felt like my heart sink. No its not because too much kentucky, cos limpek is still very fit. Then it hit me. The last sentence.

"... but 42% believe that they can't get pregnant during menses"






ISSIT!!??

CAN GET PREGNANT WAN!?!?!?!



limpek is another gong cipet afterall

How To Trim Your Pubic Hair

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Velvet Toilet, Bathroom Manners and DONT SHAKE DICK!

Limpek was at Velvet the other day, and then run into an old friend. Of all the places, we bumped into each other in the toilet. You know la, velvet toilet so damn cramped, until have to line up outside the cubicle just to wait for urinals to clear. The Zouk clubbers also damn cibai wan sometimes. You see, the toilet is set up like that ...
As you can see, at any given time, 5 person can use the toilet. 2 can pangsai in the cubicles and 3 can piss on the urinals. Personally limpek think those cibais who go pangsai in club cubicles should be made to swallow their own shit. Along with the fucker who design the toilet.

Already you are talking about hundreds of guests in the club and 1 tiny lanjiao toilet, yet you must go pangsai in the cubicle. Want to pangsai cannot just go home or somewhere else issit? Want to pangsai also must come out clubbing ar? Helo! Ah hia! Just because you lift one butt cheek to silent your fart, you think all the people outside waiting cannot smell your shit is it?

Then even worse is the urinal. You see the diagram ming ming got space for 3 person to pee right? But it never fucking happens. The right side guy pee aiming the right corner while the left side guy pee aiming left corner. Then the cibai clubbers (especially the young college type) will NEVER go to the middle wan. Its like they thinking "aiyoo paisehhh people see my gugu lehhh, later they laugh *giggle giggle shyy shyyy lehhh".

KNNB CCB!!! Helo! Already you can see outside got space for 4 person to wait only. The rest have to wait OUTSIDE the toilet. You cannot see the line meh? You cannot smell the shit coming from the cubicle making our face green meh? Just because you feel insecure about your small gugu and we dowan to be cibai to cut your line! You think because your bimbo girlfriend laugh at your small gugu we all going to give a shit?!?

And then you have the cibais standing on the red cross on the diagram. Helo! You stand there everytime the door open kena your head, very syok is it? Make way la kanineh!

Then comes the ultimate super cibai fuckers. Remember the old saying (i forgot from where d), that 'no matter how much you shake it, a drop or two of urine will still leak into your underwear'? These ultimate super cibai fuckers dont believe in that wan. After peeing they will do this:





or this

VIGOROUSLY FOR LIKE 10 FUCKING SECONDS!!!

wahhh chaooo ciiii baiiiii your fucking piss is spilling all over!! Kena my cibai arm already la you blardy gong cibai!!! Kanine you actually trying to shake off the leftover or are you actually trying to make sperm come out!?! Its supposed to be three shakes only!! puah bai!! Study so much but dont know how to shake cock!

Limpek teach you all puah bais la. Use one hand. Make 'V' victory sign with first finger and middle finger. Lift your thumb away so wont kena droplets. Hold your hotdog in between the V like a giant cigarrette. Then smoke it. No dont smoke it, dont be gong cibai. Apply slight pressure on two fingers and flick it firmly DOWNWARDS at an angle towards the urinal. 3 FLICKS ONLY! Any more you are masturbating in public liao!!

Eh hiao beh hiao??! If next time limpek see you masturbating on the urinal again limpek will give a hard kick on your arse to let you fuck the urinal wall.


Ok then back to the topic about bumping into Old Friend beside me in the toilet. Of course limpek was using MIDDLE URINAL LANE because limpek is not a kiasi cibai to make others wait. And limpek got godzilla nothing to be shy of. See mah see la, si hamsap kia. So Old Friend saw me and we started talking lah. Guys are very flexible wan. Pee that time can talk cock sing song also. Not like girls so troublesome shy this shy that. Old Friend finish peeing before me. And he was doing the Flicking No:1 thing like the diagram. Limpek pee syok syok suddenly notice people shaking beside me of course turned to look la.

Eh shit, talk so long liao. Tomoro only continue la.

Iron Man 2 Malaysia Release, War Machine and James Bond evolution

Malaysia Release: 30 APRIL 2010



Iron Man 2 sioottttt... I mean, what more can you ask for? Ahh but of course just like orgasms we cannot help but want more more more!!! so they give you

Whiplash!

Scarlett "tetek" johansson as Black Widow . Olivia munn as Iron Maiden (?) limpek donno hamilan is that. Iron maiden is not a metal band meh?


And the most stim cum on face wan of course is --->

WAR MACHINE!!! WAHHHH SIOOKKKK!!!!

Although as expected, the Malaysian language will probably just butcher the translation into something like "MESIN PERANG". Walaoeh. Or "Jentera Perang"? It'll be something like,

Kini membuka di semua pawagam..... ORANG BESI 2 !!! Juga mempamerkan watak Jentera Perang, Janda Hitam, Pompuan Besi dan.... wah kanineh whiplash is what ar? Si Momentum Yang Menolak Balik Sesuatu Tenaga Yang Dihalakan Sesuatu Arah?

Sori la, quite obvious limpek Bahasa is fail along with Fizik.

But Don Cheaddle as Jentera Perang... abit fail lor dont you think? I mean, look at him:

I mean, he's like Mr Hotel Rwanda lor. How to expect him to kick ass?


nahbeh, abit beh tahan lor. War Machine is like, stim stim shiny shiny somemore got tua tua ki gun on the shoulder (as if want to compensate on the metal emptiness down there in the metal speedos). But the tua tua ki gun on the shoulder is sibeh steady. Carry around one tua tua ki shiny shiny dick gun, limpek think sibeh got psychological sex appeal lor. Holywood also know. Thats why you see James Bond gun... last time like this

start with soi soi ki, skinny skinny wan



then the shaft thickens abit, overall more filling



whoa then tua tua ki t'ng t'ng already, somemore got head extension




=_=''' .... "limpek soot ka ee hao ar!!"

So you see, tua tua ki really make a difference wan. People want to see tua tua ki. Guys want to see what objects can secretly compensate for their natural small guns. Girls want to see because see liao actually feel quite song, panties abit moist. Dr Freud the hamsap doctor got explain before this is call "Penis Envy". He say the girls actually also longing for a penis. The more tua ki penis the more 'sha qi' (killing aura). Thats why gun can represent penis. They also want to hold it and have it and feel powderful. Why? Limpek also donno. Siao? Limpek donno also you better ask Dr. Freud.

So based on the trend of dick gun getting more tua ki, limpek think couple years from now James Bond will be like this.... with Robert Pattinson lipstick boy because he's young and alot girls wet their panties when they see him --->

tua ki enough for you?

oh by the way if you're hot chio bu and bored and want to watch Ironman 2 with lonely limpek, please let me know. I will be very polite and good and buy you ticket and popcorns and drinks and promise wont touch your nehneh halfway.

Datuk Hee Yit Foong Jelapang Frog and what Social Butterfly really is

Sheeyiit Foong awarded a Datuk?!? KNNCCB wat the flying fuck! Limpek thought Datukship can only award to people wan? How come frogs also can get awarded? Thanks to this corrupted jumping frog who switched from Pakatan to Barisan's brothel, the whole Perak state is lost back to BN last year.

Limpek really beh tahan this ugly frog. last time Jelapang people all see she is a female and handicapped and chinese so they kesian her and voted for her. Mana tau this nabeh everyday only busy fighting to request her Toyota Camry. Then see Pakatan cannot cari makan liao quickly switch! Puah bai!

Raja Petra revealed last time this blardy frog took RM20 million from gahmen through Berjaya's big pai kia Vincent Tan to jump ship to Barisan. Today somemore get Datukship. What is this shit? Aftersales bonus ar? Like, "tankyucomeagain" gesture?

Ninabeh the 20 million you think from who leh? From us stupid taxpayers la. Limpek have to save everyday, buy pirate dvd instead of go movie until girls also tulan... gahmen song song take our money to buy a frog! Puah bai!

Auntie Shit Foong, your Jelapang people vote for you because they really believe you and think you can speak for them. Because they got no voice. When gahmen fuck their backside, rob their money and then pee on their plantation, they thought they can rely on you to speak for them. Because they got no voice. When they see you as a woman and handicapped to top it off, they think you are more reliable and trustworthy because you understand life's struggle. Because they have no voice! You where can like that fuck them over? Somemore get Datukship to guai lan!

People Lee Chong Wei awarded Datuk because whack badminton kau kau lat. Or Nicol David squash kau kau lat. Or Michelle Yeoh acting kau kau lat. Or Jimmy Choo design kau kau lat. Or Siti Nurhaliza sing kau kau lat. Puah bai you do what kau kau lat? Kiap your buttock together kau kau lat when service the gahmen men issit?


Nabeh dowan say liao la. Say more high blood pressure. Say what also no use. Now Datuk Hee can go heeee heeee heeee anyway.

So limpek was asked on earlier post what butterfly is. Wahseh, nowadays got this type of innocent guys also. Very good la, Goldfish Uncle also see the beauty of innocence sometimes. Sometimes only la. Like when limpek take off pants, girls go EEKK!! Jiang Ta Ge!! Bu Yao!!! That kind of innocence is very steady.

Basically butterfly is a system designed by these creative sharks of sleazy KTV. You think only big big company got fancy fancy marketing lirector? Only Coca Cola know how to increase bottle size bigger and bigger make you buy more? No!! Sleazy KTV got sleazy lirector also!!

Long long time ago 1 creative-shark sleazy lirector say, why not we make our chio bus more active. One hot chio bu should be able to service alot of people mah! Each room they let chikopeks touch touch play play for 15 mins, then proceed to next room. Then eventually rotate back to same room. In the end, 1 chio bu can service up to 10 rooms! If some chao ahpek very rich and lansi want to book, no problem. We charge them RM300. Then save the trouble of going here and there and let many smelly uncle hands touch. But if no booking, go butterfly style RM70 only! That way if service 10 rooms for a night can get rm700 liao!! WIN-WIN!!!

You see? sleazy lirector is no joke wan... take their work very seriously. That is how the 'butterfly' system came to birth lor. One sleazy lirector one day camping pangsai on the bushes nothing to do, so mah observe nature. Then he see see got alot butterfly, like to hinggap on this flower, suck suck the essense, then hinggap on next flower, suck suck the essense again and so on and so forth. So sleazy lirector also become very enlighten. So sleazy lirector want their chio bus become like butterfly also, suck suck your money here, then hinggap next room, suck suck your friend's money there. But the downside is many chao apek will twist your nipples until out of shape the next morning. Nowadays it has become the standard system worldwide on ktvs and even GRO pubs.

Funny thing is alot of gong char bohs nowadays like to simply coin the term. Especially the younger gen clubber gong char bohs. Simply simply call themselves social butterfly. Wahseh lucky limpek didnt straight away reach out and perah susu and twist her nipples when limpek hear that. Hahaha. Siao charboh, butterfly means when its their turn (when you reach their table) all the chao uncles will give u money and tekan your nehneh ok? dont simply simply say.